


bigger-than-you gasp

by pRESENTMIC



Series: another hamilgroup chat [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comedy, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Texting, dont read this, i was hit with a wave of inspiration, this is lame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 15:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8630152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pRESENTMIC/pseuds/pRESENTMIC
Summary: pepe-peggy: dicks are grossjohnturd: GASPlaflaugh: LE GASPhercyou: BIGGER-THAN-YOU GASP





	

**hambologna:** hey, john

 **johnturd:** alexander.

 **hambologna:** yeh?

 **johnturd:** why are you wearing your lawyer clothes in the bed.

 **johnturd:** correction: in OUR bed

 **hambologna:** what?

 **johnturd:** get out. now.

 **hambologna:** i'm so confused???

 **johnturd:** YOU'RE GETTING THE BED DIRTY WITH OFFICE GERMS.

 **hambologna:** WAHT.

 **johnturd:** OUT. NOW

 **hambologna:** BUT-BUT IT'S WARM

 **johnturd:** DON'T MAKE ME CARRY YOU

 **hambologna:** NONONONONONNOFNWIUGAFSGLA

 **hambologna:** S AV E  MEEE E

 **angealous:** am i witnessing a murder?

 **hambologna:** AH

 **hambologna:** DON'T WRINKLE THE SUIT, JOHN

 **johnturd:** TAKE IT OFF. CHANGE INTO YOUR PAJAMAS. NOOOOW.

 **hambologna:** AHHH NO

 **hambologna:** JOHN, YOU ALMOST RIPPED MY BOXERS JFC

 **johnturd:** PAJAMAS.

 **hambologna:** WHY THE FRICKING FRACK IS IT SO COLD

 **johnturd:** I AM NOT AROUSED.

 **hambologna:** STOP STRIPPING ME, JOHN.

 **hambologna:** OKAYOKAYOKAY I'M GETTING MY ONESIE.

 **johnturd:** good.

 **johnturd:** cuddle?

 **hambologna:** you strip me of my clothes, shove me off the bed, and force me to use my muscles to put on "clean" clothing.

 **hambologna:** sure

 **mamaria:** i'm glad that's over

 **burro:** I

 **burro:** I just

 **burro:** It's twelve in the morning.

 **theoburr:** shhh

 **theoburr:** go back to sleep

 **burro:** TheoOARE

_burro left "rant of the day_

**theoburr:** there ya go, you big baby

_theoburr left "rant of the day"_

**hercyou:** did

 **hercyou:** did aaron just get manhandled

 **hercyou:** wait, let me rephrase.

 **hercyou:** did aaron just get womanhandled

 **laflaugh:** hot diggedy dogs

 **margarita:** wOP

 **angealous:** isn't aaron a virgin

 **hambologna:** exCUSE ME WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

 **angealous:** are you going to go ask him until he gives a straight answer

 **hambologna:** NO I'M ASKING HIS HOEBUDDIES.

 **macnyes:** CAN YA'LL SHUT UP, jesus christ on a stick.

 **justmad:** go back to sleep,

 **macnyes:** i can't

 **justmad:** come over here

 **justmad:** and yes

_justmad left "rant of the day"_

_macnyes left "rant of the day"_

**hambologna:** OPERATION

 **johnturd:** n O

 **hambologna:** GET BURR LAID

 **hercyou:** oh my lord and jesus christ forgive this man for his sins

 **hambologna:** IS A GO

 **laflaugh:** yES MON AMI, YES

 **hambologna:** before that happens, i have to ask herc something

 **hercyou:** yes?

 **hambologna:** how big is your dick

 **laflaugh:** ohh ;)

 **hercyou** : laf, please don't

 **laflaugh:** HE IS 

 **laflaugh:** QUITE RED, YOUR SKIN IS DARK BUT YOUR BLUSH IS STRONG, MR. HERCULES.

 **hercyou:** noooOOO LAFFF

 **johnturd:** what

 **hambologna:** i am genuinely curious

 **johnturd:** tbh i am too

 **hercyou:** LAF STOP TAKING P I C T U R E S

 **laflaugh:** _sent an image: hercrimson.jpg_

 **angealous:** WOOWIE. _  
_

**angealous:** THAT'S NOT HUMAN.

 **hambologna:** I C A N' T  BR E A TH E

 **johnturd:** "hercrimson"

 **hercyou:** WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

 **hercyou:** I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

 **laflaugh** : i just got an amazing idea

 **laflaugh:** i am so glad alex gave me george's number.

 **hambologna:** don't get me fired.

~~~~~

**-gwashington**

**laflaugh:** how big is your dick?

 **gwashington:** why are you sending me a booty call?

 **gwashington:** To answer your question: ask my w ex-wife.

~~~~~

**-rant of the day**

**laflaugh:** well then

 **hambologna:** did he tell you?

**laflaugh:**

**laflaugh:** "To answer your question: ask my ex-wife."

 **hercyou:** HOOOOO BOIII

 **johnturd:** WWOWWOW

 **hambologna:** I THOUGHT HE WAS STILL MARRIED.

 **hambologna:** WAIT

~~~~~

**-gwashington**

**hambologna:** Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but when/why did you get divorced?

 **gwashington:** Why do you want to know?

 **hambologna:** A friend of mine is curious.

 **gwashington:** I came out to her, and we decided to break it off.

 **gwashington:** I was only married to her because my family would have been disappointed.

 **hambologna** : Wow.

 **hambologna:** Thank you for trusting me with this, Sir,

 **hambologna:** Good day to you.

 **gwashington:** And to you as well.

~~~~~

**-rant of the day**

**hambologna:** well then

 **hambologna:** my boss just came out to me

 **laflaugh:** OH, HERC.

 **hercyou:** ?

 **laflaugh:** WE COULD HAVE A THREE-WAY RELATIONSHIP

 **hercyou:** DO YOU HAVE A DADDY KINK?

 **laflaugh:** DADDY~~

 **hercyou:**  SCREAM

~~~~~

**-burro**

**hambologna:** are you a virgin.

 **burro:** why are you asking?

 **hambologna:** so you are

 **burro:** why are you asking

 **hambologna:** wait 'till i tell theo

 **burro:** WAHT I NEVER ANSWERED

 **hambologna:** IT'S TOO LATE 

 **burro:** QWASDFERRW

~~~~~

**-theoburr**

**burro:** please don't listen to anything hamilton tells you

~~~~~

**-rant of the day**

**hambologna:** I AM ON A ROLL, BABY

 **johnturd:** what did you do now?

 **hambologna:** BURR ADMITTED TO BEING A VIRGIN

 **angealous:** DID HE REALLY?

 **mamaria:** that pure child

 **hambologna:** WELL

 **hambologna:** NO  
_burr has joined "rant of the day"_

 **burro:** I'M NOT. 

_theoburr has joined "rant of the day"_

**theoburr:** aaron, you never told me that you were legitimately empty of sin

 **burro:** I

 **theoburr:** WANT TO CHANGE THAT?

 **burro:** WHAHAAHAHGRTRHTNSRH

_burro has left "rant of the day"_

_theoburr has left "rant of the day"_

**angealous:** did i just witness my friend losing his virginity

 **hambologna:** honestly

 **hambologna:** i'm terrified for burr

_margarita has changed their user to pepe-peggy_

**pepe-peggy:** OH BOY OH BOY

 **angealous:** i am disowning you

 **hercyou:** DISHONOR. DISHONOR ON YOUR WHOLE FAMILY

 **johnturd:** DISHONOR ON YOU

 **hambologna:** DISHONOR ON YOUR COW

 **pepe-peggy:** THE SOLDIER FROM THE MOUNTAINS

 **mamaria:** my favorite quote: "I'll get that arrow pretty boy, and I'll do it my shirt on."

 **angealous:** ALL MEN IN A NUTSHELL

 **hambologna:** OFFENSE 

 **hercyou:** her words ring with truth

 **hambologna:** who are you

 **hambologna:** meredith

 **hercyou:** no

 **hercyou:** meredith's mom

 **hercyou:** here's the quote: "Legends are lessons. They ring with truths..."

 **hambologna** : how do you know every disney quote istg

 **hercyou:** i was blessed

 **johnturd:** dude

 **johnturd:** are you super religious? just curious

 **hercyou:**  I'm actually an atheist

 **hambologna:** WOP ME TOO

 **hercyou:** atheists assemble

 **johnturd:** i'm agnostic

 **johnturd:** does that work

 **hercyou:** WELCOME, BROTHER JOHN.

 **laflaugh:**  frère jacques, frère jacques, dormez vous? dormez vous? sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines, ding ding dong, ding ding dong

 **hercyou:** you sing that every night

 **laflaugh:** you fall asleep to it

 **hambologna:** oooh

 **hambologna:** teach it to theo

 **laflaugh:** i barely know her

 **johnturd:** she doesn't need to know

 **johnturd:** she saps all the energy out of aaron, anyways

 **pepe-peggy:** my ears

 **elizzza:** INAPPROPRIATE.

 **johnturd:** i'm sorry?

 **angealous:** SHE NEEDS TO BE SIN FREE

 **pepe-peggy:** i've already had a one night stand

 **pepe-peggy:** dicks are gross

 **johnturd:** GASP

 **laflaugh:** LE GASP

 **hercyou:** BIGGER-THAN-YOU GASP

 **hambologna:** meh

 **johnturd:** what

 **hambologna:** she's kinda right

 **hambologna:** dicks are just these floppy sausages connected in between our legs

 **johnturd:** i live for dicks

 **hambologna:** especially mine~

 **hercyou:** NO ONE USES THOSE SQUIGGLY THINGS ANYMORE

 **hercyou:** ONLY WATTPAD USERS

 **laflaugh:** it's called a tilde

 **hercyou:** how do you know this

 **laflaugh:** [https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS698US698&q=what+is+the+squiggly+line+called&oq=what+is+the+squiggly+line&gs_l=serp.3.3.0l10.6933.8925.0.11361.5.2.0.3.3.0.121.237.0j2.2.0....0...1c.1.64.serp..0.5.266...0i67k1.DKP5P6kzuZo](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS698US698&q=what+is+the+squiggly+line+called&oq=what+is+the+squiggly+line&gs_l=serp.3.3.0l10.6933.8925.0.11361.5.2.0.3.3.0.121.237.0j2.2.0....0...1c.1.64.serp..0.5.266...0i67k1.DKP5P6kzuZo)

 **hercyou:** you actually searched it up

 **johnturd:** "what is the squiggly line called"

 **hambologna** : "Question: What is the little squiggly line on the keyboard called? It looks like this: ~. Answer: It's called a tilde. The tilde is seen over the letter n and vowels in the Spanish alphabet, and it's also used in mathematics to indicate negation..."

 **angealous:** this chat is so educational tf

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry  
> i just-
> 
>  
> 
> memes.


End file.
